


Requiem for the returned

by Shepard_Shakedown



Series: Symphony For Stars [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Everyone is in this, F/M, Fix-It, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2019-11-07 10:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shepard_Shakedown/pseuds/Shepard_Shakedown
Summary: When she'd destroyed the catalyst she expected death. Instead she got something stranger, a chance to do things again.Revived in the body of her sixteen year old self Shepard must prevent the Reaper war from happening like it did in her time.[A Note: While this fic is marked as complete be warned that it is only the second draft of this fic. I am currently doing a major restructuring and edit of this fic to both correct the plot and timeline, and to better set up for part two. At the moment I'm about three quarters of the way through these edits (and an additional 5000 words from the first draft.) Please bear with me in the mean time. Part two of this fic is temporarily on hold until these edits are done. Thank you!]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There will be an additional update once edits are completed both here and in part two of this series. If youre not interested in reading this fic until after these edits are done feel free to bookmark or subscribe to it! 
> 
> I am currently up to chapter 10 in terms of edits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [edit 22/04/2019] minor edits made to correct grammar, spelling, and Shepard's take on time travel.

Earth, March 23, 2187 CE

 

When they said ‘your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die’ she hadn't given much thought to it. It had been a long time since she'd even considered her own life. She was too busy considering others, too busy arguing with politicians, too busy fighting for a future it didn’t seem she’d ever reach. There were too many big questions to answer, to consider the small ones. Like, would they even be looking to her for answers if she hadn't survived the Skyllian Blitz, if Saren hadn’t fired the first shot on Eden prime. Everything would have been different. She would have been different.

 

Or maybe nothing would change. It could have been anyone in her place.

 

The future would be the same wouldn’t it? It could go on without her. After all she was just one insignificant human. She emptied the clip of her pistol into the crucible.

 

In truth it wasn’t her whole life that flashed before her when the crucible detonated. She only saw the people she was leaving behind. She saw the future she could never have. She saw Anderson asking her if she ever considered settling down, if she ever considered starting a family. She saw herself sabotaging every hope and dream she had. For better or worse she had nothing worth making it off the Citadel for. Because deep down she'd never believed she’d make it out of this war alive.

 

Earth, October 3, 2170 CE

 

The thing about dreams is sometimes they felt real. She woke up gasping for air, feeling the heat and feeling of flesh burning off her skin. She woke up certain she’d died on the Citadel only to find herself safe on Earth. It felt like she hadn't been home in seventeen years. That the last place she’d been on Earth was the other side of the country. Not that Vancouver wasn't nice. But she’d grown up in Toronto. It was her shitshow still showing the signs of the riots that broke out during the first contact war.

 

Her place wasn’t exactly a luxury hotel. But the shithole apartment was mold and relatively pest free. What pests were there were, were the kind her roommates cat took pleasure in hunting. Mica was probably the best thing about the place. The grey tabby was far more charming than the man that owned her. Probably because she didn’t spend all her time complaining about not having a boyfriend. Darius was sweet but he was more than a little stupid and he never shut up. Despite that he was brilliant when it came to tech. Half the crap they owned had been fixed up by him.

 

She was still shaking off the dream when she noticed her own hair. Long unruly curls with bleached ends that she hadn't bothered to take care of despite complaining constantly about it. In the dream she’d cut it all off in the washroom of the Alliance recruitment office with scissors she’d nicked from somewhere. She remembered something about wanting to fit regulations. It was stupid, but...

 

She slipped her omni tool onto her wrist. It had been old when she’d gotten it but it felt ancient now. The date it displayed was accurate but… It was a really, really convincing dream she’d had. That or she’d been sent back in time. A chill ran down her spine. She hoped it was a dream. If it wasn’t… Well, if it wasn't they were fucked.

 

She grabbed the knife beside her bed padding to their shitty washroom. She could still see the echo of the scars on her face as she pulled her hair into an elastic. The knife followed sawing at the ends until the bleached ends were gone. It was uneven as hell and there were still a few blonde bits but it was manageable. She had no idea how she hadn’t gotten fed up with it years ago. Darius probably. He’d throw a fit when he woke up.

 

Earth October 4, 2170

 

Running with the Reds wasn’t a choice. The problem with growing up in foster care was it sucked. You either got adopted, you kept your head down, or you were a target. No one had wanted her and she’d never been good at keeping her mouth shut. So she’d ended up a target. A target that ran away at thirteen, and got sucked into a gang that couldn't care less if any of the kids they picked up lived. It was the same rules with a different setting. Become an asset, keep your head down, or become a target. She’d never been any good at keeping her mouth shut. So she ended up a target. Only this time she wasn’t alone.

 

Part of her had known there would be a shootout out. She'd seen it in the dream she ignored, dammit. October fourth, ten forty-six pm. She’d watched it play out exactly the same way. The thugs she’d pissed off two days before storming the cafe they were having lunch at. In hindsight she should have trusted it. 

 

Darius hadn’t made it, she’d frozen up and watched as an entire clip was emptied into him.

 

She bit back a sob as memories replayed themselves in her mind. It didn’t matter that she’d changed the outcome this time. That she hadn’t frozen. Darius was talking but she couldn't focus on the words. He was still alive this time. He had a bullet in his arm but he was alive. The dream, everything she remembered was real. It was all real.

 

They shouldn't have been there. She should have trusted her gut and stayed home with him. But some sick part of her wanted to live in denial. It wasn't a dream.

 

It wasn't a dream.

 

This was real.

 

The reapers were coming and they were all fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [edit note] I feel like I should mention that if you're here for the romance it's going to be the world's longest slow burn. This is because both Garrus and Shepard are idiots. I have plans for the story line to run till a little after the crucible where the story starts and let me say. It's almost cannon timing for the Garrus romance it the game. I have actually written the scene where Shep tells him already but there's a lot in between to cover. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [edit 22/04/2019] minor edits made to correct grammar, spelling, and Shepard's take on time travel.

Earth October 17, 2170

 

Seeing Anderson on earth was unexpected and painful. Seeing him in Toronto was strange all things considered. He'd been from London, England hadn't he? The Alliance had bases all over earth. It wasn’t strange to see soldiers around, but the chances that she'd see him now... It was a chance she wasn't sure she'd have again. Now more than ever she needed to take it.

 

The Reds weren’t merciful and she’d drawn a lot of attention to them. Worse, she’d shown her hand doing it. She was known for small scams not dodging bullets like a trained soldier. Grateful as she was to the Alliance for their training it was going to get her in deeper shit than she already was. If they decided she was better suited as muscle her chances of getting off earth were shot. She'd spent years with the Alliance fighting off pirates, then her time in N-School, and then fighting as a Spectre had only added to  her resume.

 

She didn’t regret saving Darius. But she also hadn’t planned it. She'd moved before she'd thought twice, using tactics a sixteen year old shouldn’t know. She hadn't even realized it until the fighting was over. She should have been more careful.

 

She’d spent the following days taking inventory of things she knew from the future she’d seen. She didn't have the same muscle she'd had then. She was a small teenager. It would take time to get anywhere close to there. The weapons she'd grown used to using were heavy. Even now her hands were shakier than she remembered; Too muche restless energy. That she had memories of the future wasn't something she could keep denying. She’d died detonating the crucible. It was unbelievable and impossible. But at the end of the day what did anyone know about the crucible? What did anyone know about the Reapers?

 

She’d spent the better part of the week trying to find out to no avail. The Alliance servers on earth didn't have that information. She'd learned enough to confirm there was a facility on Mars where they were still doing research and where it was. But everyone knew about Mars ruins. It hadn't taken long to give up. The Mars facility’s servers didn't connect offworld and with that dead end she'd changed lanes to Cerberus and Saren.

 

Cerberus was a footnote in their files that would grow in time and Saren. Saren was a catalyst of a different nature than the last one she'd faced. There little apart from Andersons report on him. There were whispers of something happening on Shanix but it had been brushed under the rug to appease the council. Anderson had failed his role as a potential human Spectre and Saren was still a mystery.

 

She shook her head taking a second glance through the window of the restaurant at Anderson. She hadn’t told Darius she wanted off Earth or that she didn't trust the Reds wouldn't just kill them as soon as it was inconvenient to keep them alive. Darius would have been about as helpful as he’d always was. Which was to say not all that helpful. Just stay out of it Shepard. Don't kick the hornet's nest again Shepard. She could hear him now telling her to “just keep her head down. To just do what they ask and wait until they were old enough to get off earth and join the Alliance. It won’t matter when they leave.”

 

But it had always mattered and it had eaten at her for years after she’d escaped the Reds. She'd fished a bullet out of his arm almost two weeks ago. She'd watched him die once. If there was a way out. She was taking it now. If she could end up on a ship to any of earth's colonies or better yet to the Citadel itself, she’d be happy. She’d be on the road to completing her mission to stop the reaper invasion. She shoved the door open quick to slide into the seat across from Anderson.

 

He frowned at her. You’re the one Saren framed.” She cursed herself for blurting the first thing that came to mind. She needed him to listen but also didn’t need to get arrested for hacking the Alliance.

 

He furrowed his brows. “That's classified information."

 

“Look. Anderson.” He glared at her. “It is Anderson right?” It was of course. He was younger but she knew his face. She knew who she was talking to. The same couldn't be said about her knowing when to shut up.

 

“That’s lieutenant Anderson.” He corrected more confused than angry. It was hard to tell the difference when he was trying to be intimidating. “Who are you? And how do you know about Saren?”

 

“Shepard's fine.” She ran a hand through her hair cursing as her fingers caught a knot. “Look, I’m not crazy. I know what I’m talking about and I’m pretty sure you do to. You worked with him…” She cursed herself from rambling. She'd dropped that habit a few years before the Blitz with a lot of effort. It figured it was back. Fuck her stupid sixteen year old self.

 

“That wasn’t wh at I asked kid. How do you know about Saren?” He crossed his arms.

 

“That’s really hard to explain, and not a story I should tell here.” She tossed a look over her shoulder at the street. She never should have brought up Saren. Now she had to explain how she knew. She could always pass it off that she’d hacked into the Alliance network. She knew their firewalls like the back of her hand. But that alone could get locked up if she didn’t nail down a deal first.

 

He narrowed his eyes. “Do you really want to spend your life locked up for this kid. That isn’t information you should have.”

 

“Which is why we shouldn’t talk about this in a  _ crowded _ restaurant. Look I’ll be honest I’d like to live long enough to make it to eighteen. But that isn’t looking all that likely right now.” She leaned in. She could see his eyes widen before a stony mask took its face. God, it was a shame she’d never played poker against the man. She’d have been rich. “I’ll tell you exactly how I found out, but I need something from you first. I need help getting off earth, so I can live long enough to join the Alliance myself. I’m not interested in spreading classified information, but no one is going to get me off this planet without it.”

 

He ran a hand over his face.“Do I even want to know what you're running from?” He eyed her with a frown.

 

She checked the street behind them again. “Petty gang shit. Nothing that can follow me off Earth.” She took a breath glancing behind them. “It not easy getting out and I'm not exactly in a position where I can wait another two years. I’ll either end up in a casket. Or on the other side of the gun.” She bit her lip. “Please, lieutenant."

 

Citadel January 23, 2172

 

There was a part of her that had decided not to play by the rules. Or rather, she'd decided that she wasn't playing by anyone's rules but her own. She played loose and fast, pushing limits when she could. She knew her strengths and her weaknesses well enough to get away with it; Most of the time.

 

Garrus had always complained about C-sec's incompetence. The entire time she'd known him he'd gone on and on about it. But witnessing it first hand was another thing. To be fair _this_ _time_ was her fault. The other times, the ones where she was just doing her job were another story. Castis had been a little intimidating the first few times she ended up in his office, but nowadays he just looked tired.

 

Anything with her name on it had become a hassle fast. The human embassy had made sure of it. In truth she expected most of C-sec thought she was the daughter of some important politician with how they handled her. The reality of it wasn't that simple.

 

Officially she was a ‘key witness’. The truth was she was a witness to her own crimes. She didn't know what strings Anderson had pulled to get her on the Citadel but she wasn't complaining. She'd warned him ahead of time that she was trouble not that she hadn't tried to keep a low profile. She hadn't intended to test how far she could go with the human embassy covering her ass. She only hoped it wouldn’t affect her joining the Alliance. If she had to guess she hadn't crossed that line in the sand yet.  

 

Her job was thing that caused problems. She tested security systems and while it was a completely legal job it didn’t stop people from calling C-sec to complain that some teenage human was breaking into their rich neighbors house five times a week. Then she had wait to lock eyes with an incredibly disappointed Castis before he explained that she had a permit and it was  _ always _ Castis. Good old Castis with his disappointed stare and his pile of paperwork.

 

“How many times am I going to find you in m y office, Shepard? Is it that difficult to follow the rules?” The turian sighed. “I’m aware the human embassy is covering for you but…” He shook his head. “This is the third time this month. Where are your par…”

 

“Dead. During the first contact war.” She cut him off before he could finish the line she'd heard at least a dozen times on earth. He twitched the turian equivalent of a frown but she found herself not caring. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about them but the question had gotten old. It was boring and annoying and no one liked the truthful answer. “Am I supposed to be upset that humanity threw a tantrum over the world's dumbest parking ticket? I never knew them. The war is over. They’re dead, ooooooh.”  She wiggled her fingers sarcastically.

 

“Parking…? You…” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

She sunk further into her chair. “I know the history. I did in fact go to school. Turians were upholding citadel law. Humanity jumped a relay without warning. A war broke out because we parked in a no parking zone. It's over, we learn and we move on. We don't live long enough to keep this grudge going.” There was more to it than that of course. The turians had wanted Shanix for something the Alliance knew nothing about. If she had to guess it had something to do with experimental weaponry. It was alway weapons.

 

He twitched. “Your derailing this again, Shepard. We weren't talking about the war. We were talking about you being in my office, again.”

 

She groaned letting her head fall back. “It’s not like I want to be here either ok.” She crossed her arms. “I just figured, I only have four human months left...”

 

He rubbed between his eyes cutting her off. “What’s in four human months, Shepard?”

 

“I’m joining the Alliance. So, I'll be out of your office and in training.” She blew her hair out of her face instead of moving it. It fell exactly where it had been before. “Dumb human laws.”

 

“Right, human laws. I’ll be sure to add that excuse in your file, right next to ‘bills don’t pay themselves’.” He drawled. “That doesn't explain the weapons you were caught with.” He flicked through her file. “, Or how you got them."

 

“Honestly, I would think you’d know h ow I got them. You’re the cop.” She lifted her head to look at him.

 

He sighed. “Try doing it legally Shepard. The Citadel…”

 

“Who in their right mind is going to sell a seventeen year old human a widow?” She scoffed. “Look, I know what I’m doing with it. Or rather I did before it was confiscated.” She tapped her fingers against his desk. “I know what I’m getting into with the Alliance. It isn't kittens and rainbows. Its pirates, slavers, and death. I want to be prepared for it. Which means getting used to the weapons I’ll be using.”

 

He shook his head. “Shepard...”

 

“No!” She shook her head. “Look, I was at a range. I was doing this as much by the book as I could.”

 

“You’re underage, without a permit, and with illegal weapons.” He snapped. “We’re still trying to figure out how you got past the V.I. Widow’s aren’t even standard issue Shepard.”

 

“Widow’s hit harder, and they’re accurate. Also, it’s  _ my job _ getting past security systems. Is it even a surprise? Seriously where else was I supposed to go?” She crossed her arm. “Was I supposed to endanger civilians with military grade weaponry?”

 

“How about waiting four months?”

 

She snorted. “Like you won’t train your kids to shoot before they enter service.” He twitched. “I don’t have anyone looking out for me like that. I have to do it myself.”

 

He mulled over her words for a mome nt before letting out a breath. “You’re as stubborn as my son. Fine.” He tapped at his terminal. “I’m giving you access. So long as you have an escort.” He motioned for her to leave.

 

She hesitated at the door. “Thank you, Castis."

 

“Just get out of my office Shepard.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [edit 22/04/2019] minor edits made to correct grammar, spelling, and Shepard's take on time travel.

Citadel November 3, 2179

 

The fight hadn't been her fault. It was a bad case of wrong place wrong time. At least that was her story and she was sticking to it. In the end she'd still broken her promise to never cross Vakarian’s desk again. She sunk deeper into her chair. Why did it always have to be Vakarian anyway? 

 

“Soooo," She froze up as a familiar twang filled the office. “How exactly did you manage to get a salarian and a krogan to kiss?” The turian slid into his seat in front of her. "Because this is probably the most interesting case that's crossed my desk in the history of... Ever.” Garrus looked up at her, his eyes full of amusement.

 

She could practically hear her mind failing to start, still stuck in a loop of 'wrong Vakarian’. She opened her mouth like an idiot blurting the first thing that crossed her mind. “I’m almost considering getting arrested more often.” He quirked a brow confused. “But there’s no guarantee I’ll get you again. I mean, you’re the only one with a sense of humor here.” She briefly considered tossing herself out the nearest airlock.

 

He snorted a laugh. “There’s a few of us. So, about that krogan and the salarian…”

 

She swore under her breath. “The short story is I tripped.”

 

He eyed her skeptically. “And the long story? "

 

“I tripped and in my usual fashion, I set off a chain of events that ended with a krogan getting angry. Generally when you piss off a krogan you’re supposed to run… Only, I wasn’t looking where I was leading him and that’s where the salarian comes in. Because when the big guy tried to stop… Well, you know.” She coughed into her hand omitting the part where she’d failed to contain her laughter and had accidentally escalated the situation. From the amusement in his eyes he’d caught on to that anyway.

 

“And you just, casually took down this krogan after.” He waved a hand. “Reports say he continued to go after you and that you incapacitated him.” Garrus picked up his tablet again.

 

“While my squad laughed at me. Not the first time I’ve had to take out a krogan. Usually they’re pirates trying to kill me. Not that the big guy wasn’t trying...” She cleared her throat. “Soooo, uh.” He raised a brow looking up from the paperwork. “This… Isn’t going to going to end up on Castis’ desk is it? Because if it does, not only do I owe a friend fifty credits but I’m going to get another two hour lecture on ‘Citadel laws and obeying them’…”

 

“Another…?” His eyes widened before he burst out laughing. “Oh, you’re that Shepard. I thought your name sounded familiar.”

 

“Yeah, yeah laugh it up. I used to end up in his office every other week.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “It was a pain in the ass. Half the time I was just doing my job. You know he arrested me for breaking into my own damn house! I was testing how easy my security could be bypassed but nooo. I didn't have a permit that time.”

 

He snorted. “Sounds like my father.” He shook his head. “Look I’ll let this go...”

 

She frowned at his pause. “I’m sensing a condition on this.”

 

“ _ If _ you tell me how you managed the human ice cream riot.” He finished. “I read the reports but they were really vague.”

 

“I didn’t... Wait, no. That was actually my fault… Not that Castis or anyone else could prove it.” She sighed. “I’ll buy you a drink if you don’t arrest me for it?”

 

Citadel November 4, 2179

 

Darius was talking but she wasn't listening. Somewhere along the conversation she'd drifted off to the previous night with Garrus. “What if I got arrested again?"

 

He choked on a laugh. "I'm sorry what?”

 

"Vakarian.” She elaborated, as if it explained anything.

 

He shook his head. "Or you could just call him like a normal person."

 

“Didn't get his contact.” She shrugged. She'd been drunk enough she hadn't thought of asking. Not that she couldn't find out…

 

“Lila… Are you seriously considering getting arrested for a guy?”

 

"Maybe?” She stared at the ceiling. "He's  pretty hot."

 

He opened his mouth then shut it. "I'm never going to understand your type, am I?”

 

Citadel October 5, 2180

 

“Sheeeepard.” The turian drawled dropping in front of her. “Shepard, Shepard, Shepard.”

 

“You know... If you keep saying my name like that a girl’s going to get ideas, Garrus.” She looked up from her nails to grin at him. “It’s probably best if we don’t in your office. Unless you’re into that kind of thing?” She winked

 

He snorted a laugh. “Honestly Shepard. You can call if you want to see me. I’d prefer it to all the paperwork.” He flicked through her file. “What did you even do this time?”

 

“Convinced a hanar to start a brawl.” She hummed.

 

“I’m sorry. I don't think I heard you right.” He leaned forward. “A hanar?"

 

“Who knew Blasto wasn’t the o nly renegade jellyfish on the station.” She tried to keep a straight face failing. “There wasn’t actually an incident this time. I just asked someone to let me in. Figured you could use a break from… Well, C-sec as a whole.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “Figured, I’m off duty and I have C-sec’s handsomest turian as a friend…”

 

He snorted another laugh. “You don’t need to flatter me everytime you’re in my office, Shepard.” She glanced at the doorway gesturing for him to continue. “We can get diner after I’m finished…Or now... You had Chellick finish my reports for the day.” His mandibles fluttered.

 

“I may or may not have given him a lead on his current investigation in exchange.” She offered him a lopsided smile. “You know the one he's been working on for a week or something.” He shook his head watching her grab her coat. “Well? You coming?"

 

Half her squad was still in C-sec when they left. There was no doubt in her mind they were waiting for her to make her move on Garrus despite being told she wouldn't. They were friends, it was enough. Not to mention she'd been flirting the whole time and Garrus still hadn't really noticed. Her crush on him wasn't going anywhere fast, but neither was anything between them.

 

He elbowed her in the side as she flipped off Darius and the other three. “If I didn't know better I'd think you were still a recruit Shep."

 

She let him enter the elevator first. “You've never seen me in action."

 

“I've seen the vids.” He shrugged. She hummed in response. The vids didn’t show anything. It was mostly standard training.

 

The galactic turnpike wasn't the best bar they knew. But it served human and turian drinks and it wasn’t too far from either of their places. Better yet it wasn’t popular enough to be crowded. So Garrus and her could make idiots of themselves free of any judgment that mattered, which was of course what they always did.

 

“Ok, ok. How exactly did you find that smuggling ring so quickly?” He drawled. He muttered a few curses under his breath as his drink spilled.

 

“Easy there space cowboy,” She bumped his shoulder lightly. “I just modified a V.I. to look for patterns. We knew who was getting weapons and save for local currencies it can almost always be tracked on the net.” She let her head rest on his shoulder. “Th’ Alliance uses a similar program to track pirates. Only it’s worse because they aren't using mine.” She could feel his laughter. She loved the sound. “We should go.” She murmured. “We’re both  _ pretty _ fucked.” And she could feel herself getting sappy. It was fine when she was sober and he played her flirting off as a joke. But drinking with him always felt more personal. It was harder to deny she’d fallen pretty hard for him. Maybe it was a bad idea to befriend him. But she refused to regret it.

“You’re not wrong.” He downed the rest of his drink and moved his arm around her waist. She didn’t bother trying to tell him she was still capable of walking. She’d enjoy it while it lasted. It wasn’t until they made it to her apartment that she stopped.

 

She hadn't had the words to tell him in his office like she’d planned and drinks after hadn't helped. Even now it wasn’t… She wasn’t ready to leave him. She wanted more. One more hour. One more day. Another month by his side. God, she was drunker than she'd intended.

 

“Shepard?” He frowned.

 

“Sorry just…” She leaned against her door. “I meant…” She took a breath. “I meant to tell you earlier. But… I don't know.” She let her head fall back watching the fake night sky of the Citadel. “I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t know how long it’ll be till I'm back.”

 

She could see him shake his head. “Shepard, you’re always…”

 

“It’s different this time. I might be stationed there permanently, Garrus.” I might die there, she left unsaid. But he was perceptive, of course he noticed. The next few years would be a series of missions one after the other until Saren tried to destroy Eden Prime and that had been a disaster. It would be a disaster. She didn’t know Nihlus well enough to warn him.

 

“Shep.” His voice was soft.

 

“I wanted to say goodbye.” She avoided his gaze.

 

“Shep…” He tugged her into his arms giving her a firm hug. “Look, you’ll make it back. You’ll make it back because you’re stubborn and good at your job.” She let her head fall on his shoulder. “And when you make it back Lila, I’m going to have a report with your name on it on my desk. Because you’re actually going to cause a riot with a hanar one day so it might as well be then.”

 

She laughed. “Garrus I’m not going to…”

 

“Make it back or cause a riot? Because my best friend has a knack for doing both.” He joked.

 

She snorted. “I’ve always been trouble.”

 

“The best kind of trouble.” He grinned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next is a time skip to eden prime.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some minor edits were done on this chapter as I realized the morning after that I uploaded an earlier revision. All changes were minor wording fixes. The first being the conversation with Udina and the second the tail end regarding the data Tali reveals. Some minor grammar and spelling errors were also fixed.

Eden Prime February 28, 2183

 

“You knew.” Nihlus coughed. “You knew he was here. How?”

 

“Heard rumours.” She kep t her hands firmly planted over the wound in his stomach. It wasn’t doing much. He was bleeding out faster than she could keep the blood in. Human medi-gel wasn’t doing much for him and he’d already used all of his.

 

“I should have listened.” He coughed.

 

“Just stop moving! Kaiden, get the man behind those crates.” She had no idea if Powel had any supplies, but she’d already lost Jenkins and she was going to try damnit.

 

“Shepard..." She glared at him. “Dammit Shepard listen to me. There's still time. Go.” He moved his arm again transferring something to her Omni tool. They both knew Joker wouldn't make it in time. They both knew he wasn't going to make it.

 

“I’ll… Nihlus?” Shit. Damn it.

 

Citadel March 2, 2183

 

She waited for the turian to catch sight of her rolling her eyes at Ashley’s impatience. It didn't take long before he was sauntering towards her. “You know, when I said a report with your name was going to be on my desk when you got back, I wasn't being serious. I was was expecting maybe a call.” He grinned. “Some warning would have been nice Shepard.” He looked good; In more ways than one. But he always looked good. Or maybe she was just biased.

 

She let herself laugh. “I wish I could have officer. But there wasn’t even enough time to write my own report.” He narrowed his eyes crossing his arms. “I'll explain later?” He nodded. “I take it from the argument you didn't find anything on Saren.”

 

“No. He’s a  _ Spectre  _ everything he touches is  _ classified _ .” He rolled his eyes. “Guys like Sarren piss me off enough without…”

 

“Easy there.” She cut him off. “I can buy you time at the meeting. Politicians can talk in circles for days. Worst come we can leave the council with enough questions that they’d be open to look at it again.”

 

He nodded. “That would work. Be careful up there Shepard.”

 

She smiled. “I’m not going to get killed by a politician, officer Vakarian.” He muttered something along the lines of you better not. “Oh, before I forget. There’s a volus in the financial district. Rumour has it he works for the shadow broker.” He twitched slightly. “Saren pissed the guy off. He might be feeling charitable.”

 

Garrus blinked. “I’ll look into it. Thanks Shepard.”

 

She nodded moving deeper into the council chamber. Ashley was the first to speak up.

 

“You know that guy or something?”

 

She couldn't stop herself from smiling. “Or something. I’ve been a pain in his ass since he joined C-Sec.” It’d been four years since she’d stumbled into his office for the first time. She’d meant of course to bitch to whatever officer she got that the guy she’d taken down had it coming. But she’d ended up blurting the first idiotic thing she could think of as she panicked about seeing him. Her squad had heard the story much to her mortification and she’d been dared to do it again until it became a tradition. He’d been fresh out of the military and she’d been younger and much to her displeasure a lot dumber. She could remember the life she’d lived all she wanted but apparently young humans were just like that. Human brains, a marvel of stupidity, really.

 

She cursed climbing the stairs. Anderson was speaking but she wasn't listening. It was funny how used to this she was. Arguing with the council had happened every other week during the reapers war. Walking them in circles for half an hour was easy enough. Or it would have been if Udina hadn't fought her the entire time. In the end she'd barely managed to leave the council with enough questions to reopen the case later.

 

Ignoring as Udina yelled at her while having a silent conversation with Anderson, was something else she'd gotten used to. Though it was usually someone else doing the yelling and it wasn’t in C-Sec. Waiting for Udina to stop long enough to say anything herself on the other hand… Well, the man loved to hear himself speak. He was still yelling when Garrus pinged her coms with a location and she'd decided she'd had enough.

 

She gestured to her squad to leave trying to ignore Udina's offended sputtering. She stopped when he grabbed her wrist.

 

She pried his fingers off less than gently. “Look it's like you said ambassador. I should stick to my job. Unfortunately, you spent the entire meeting undermining my efforts to buy my contact enough time to finish following his lead. So I improvised. The council should have enough doubt they'll be willing to reopen the case. As it stands I have a lead to follow up on that should be able to condemn Saren. So if my captain will grant me permission to follow it.” She glanced at Anderson.

 

He nodded. “Granted.”

 

She nodded leading her squad out of the council chambers. In truth Garrus wasn’t her only lead. She still had the file Nihlus had given her; Some sort of scrambled video. If she was lucky she could salvage the audio. Given the time she had and what she had to do with it, it would be better to hand it off to someone who knew better than her. Tali was probably the best person for the job and finding Garrus was her best bet.

 

Garrus had sent her to C-Sec surprisingly. With how he was constantly complaining about her presence in it she figured he’d choose a different location. What wasn't a surprise was that he was bickering with a krogan twice his size with no regards to the fact that Wrex could crush him if wanted to.

 

“You know if you wanted to add a krogan to the equation you could have asked Garrus.” She murmured just quiet enough for him to hear. “Kinky.” He choked on his next words.

 

The krogan eyed her taking her in. “Do I know you human?”

 

“Name’s Shepard. I hear we have a mutual enemy. You with your contract on Fist and me…” She tilted her head. “... Not really caring about Fist.” She could see Garrus shake his head out of the corner of her eye. “You’re welcome to tag along if I can interrogate him first.”

 

Wrex let out a snort. “Shepard? Commander Shepard? I’ve heard a lot about you.” He took a step forward. “We’re both warriors, Shepard. So out of respect I’ll give you fair warning. I’m going to kill Fist.”

 

She looked him in the eye letting out a sigh. “Part of your contract I take it. I don't usually condemn people to die but… He’s slimey.”

 

She took the time to dismiss Kaidan and Ashley. Wrex and Garrus were enough to get Fist too many would be too noticeable not to mention it would slow them down when it came to finding Tali.

 

That mission went exactly as expected. Fist died and Tali was saved. The data proving Saren went rogue and Benezia was involved was collected. She did hand off the data she’d collected from Nihlus to Tali to sort out on the way back. The girl had in previous life taught her everything she knew now about recovering data. She had complete faith Tali could do it and she was proven right when Tali recovered it before they even reached the embassies.

 

Saren’s voice filled the elevator as they made their way from the C-Sec academy.

 

“Saren?” The recording started. “This isn’t your mission Saren. What are you doing here?”

 

“Nihlus, the council thought you could use more help. I volunteered.”

 

“It’s been a mess. We weren’t expecting a full scale attack from the Geth, unless the council learned something and didn't tell me.” Nihlus paused. “Why are you  _ really _ here Saren?” The audio cut out.

 

Garrus whistled. “Well that’s… Pretty damning.”


	5. Chapter 5

Citadel March 3, 2183

 

Udina as expected was less than pleased with Tali until he learned she had something worthwhile. He was predictable and if she was being honest she hated him. She didn't have have much a choice but use him though. She didn't have the power to call the council. Until she gained Spectre status she had to rely on him, not that it would be long until then. She’d done her best to keep things similar to how they were before despite the obvious differences.

 

The meeting itself went about as expected. The audio logs were presented to the council and she was made a Spectre to go after Saren. Udina had tried and failed to criticize her for something or another after but she'd brushed him off. Instead she'd offered an invitation to to Tali and Wrex. Garrus was a given and he knew it, though he did feign offense for show.

 

“How long have we known each other, Garrus?" She rolled her eyes. "Tell your boss you're being stolen by a Spectre already.” She looked to Tali, and Wrex. “If you're bringing anything you should grab it. We won't be leaving for a while.” She wouldn't be leaving without them but it would be better for everyone if they left quickly.

 

The Normandy was her ship once more and while she wasn't proud of forcing Anderson into an early retirement, she needed it. She knew it better than anyone, it's systems, it's crew, it's capabilities. She knew them like the back of her hand.

 

She knew the SR-2 better having spent more time with it, pushing it well past anything it was designed for. Cerberus had expected the Reapers but it had underestimated them like everyone else had. Advanced as the ship was it wasn't good enough to outlast them forever.

 

Her first action in command of the Normandy SR-1 this time was transparency. She’d kept things mostly need to know last time and it hadn’t worked. This time would better. They couldn't afford to keep secrets when everyone’s life was on the line. They couldn't expect support not in taking down Saren and not in stopping the reapers. Most of the galaxy wouldn’t believe it until they saw it with their own eyes.

 

“I was expecting you to protest more, Shepard." Anderson commented watching Udina stalk off. He looked tired but that was the sort of effect Udina had on people. “You've been... outspoken since Earth."

 

She shrugged. “There's no point fighting it. Finding another ship on such short notice is almost impossible. Then getting the crew settled on top of it…” She almost shuddered at the thought. “I also have a feeling Joker would throw a fit.”

 

Anderson laughed. “He is rather attached to the ship.”

 

“It’s a fancy upgrade, why wouldn’t he?” She smiled. “Me taking over is enough change I think. I'm already shaking things up by inviting three non-humans. Garrus being a turian is going to chafe.”

 

“The C-Sec officer right?” Anderson leaned against the docks railing. “Why do I get the feeling there’s more to it than that?”

 

She snorted. “Because there is. I wasn't about to tell the council my best friend was presiding over our case. They'd have labeled it a conflict of interest and thrown out all his work.” She mulled it over. “Then he would have killed me.”

 

Anderson shook his head. “That would explain why he was so eager to help. I hear he volunteered."

 

"He's got a sense of justice the size of a small planet and hates Saren just as much. I think me being involved was an afterthought.” She looked off the edge of the dock. He had done the same thing last time.

 

Wrex was the first to arrive, arriving shortly after she'd arranged for her quartermaster to obtain the supplies necessary to house their non-humans. He barely sent a nod in her direction as he settled in near the lockers.

 

Tali came next taking quickly to their engineer. She'd spent the first few days on board prodding at the Normandy's drive core and asking Adams every question she could think of the first time. She'd moved on to the rest of the the ship later, though she'd never managed to get Garrus to move from the ships weapons terminal for long.

 

Garrus didn't make it much further than the mess hall, chatting with Chakwas about something too serious to interrupt. Probably trying to learn more about the human condition that was similar to his mother's. Which left her wandering over to Joker to get them moving and to brief the crew.

 

Her briefing was as concise as she could make it. This was humanity’s chance to prove themselves and they weren't getting anything from the council. Saren was their priority and they were going to get him. She left out the details she couldn't explain away but she was thorough.


	6. Chapter 6

Normandy SR-1 March 4, 2183

 

The first drop wasn't anything especially outrageous. A large group of L2 biotics that had started a cult and kidnapped a politician. In truth she could sympathize. There'd one she talked to back on earth. A quiet woman that ran a flower shop with her wife. She'd spent a lot of time there chatting with her. Lorelei had felt kind of like a mother to her and if the pile of messages in her inbox was anything to go on, she felt the same.

 

She was one of many reasons they were dropping right at the gates with Kaidan and Tali. Tali was strong enough to watch their backs without being an intimidating force, and Kaidan had his own experiences with the L2 implants. They'd listen to him better than they would her and with any luck they could resolve things without firing a shot.

 

She'd caught Kaidan on her way to the engine room. The cryo bay tended to be a bit quieter than the rest of the ship so he tended to gravitate towards it. He'd already started suiting up caught the tail end of Tali's conversation.

 

“You're fine, Tali. You've already proven yourself to Shep.” Garrus drawled.

 

“You say that but she did have to save me from Fist's men." The quarian sighed.

 

“Yeah, and you cracked that file she was having problems with.” He pointed out. “Shepard's a bit weird, but she wouldn't bring you in if she didn't think you were capable. It's one of her rules.”

 

“I’m not sure I follow."

 

She heard him sigh. “Shepard wouldn't bring you on board if she thought you couldn't hold your own. You'll see when you drop with her.”

 

" _ If  _ I drop with her.” Tali rolled her eyes.

 

“Hate to interrupt.” She cut in looking between the two. “We're dropping in an hour, Tali. Get ready.” Garrus shot Tali a smug look

 

She'd sent a message to the compound to expect them though she'd left out who exactly she was. Humans got skittish around Spectres and her name had already spread to most human colonies.

 

The meeting itself went well enough. Between her and Kaidan everyone got out alive and the politician had vowed to make good on his promises. He’d been discussing plans with leader of the group up until he was picked up by an Alliance convoy. Their presence in the compound wasn’t strictly necessary at that point but it kept the politician from getting jumpy and setting the cult off again. Desperation had driven them this far and honestly she got that. The lengths she’d go to protect her people, to protect the whole galaxy. She had and would go further if necessary. Kidnapping a politician was tame compared to what she was prepared to do.

 

Normandy March 5, 2183

 

She’d forgotten how prickly Joker was when they’d started working together. He’d been defensive and suspicious and she’d completely forgotten. She hadn’t read his file the first time. But this time she had. She’d been one of thirteen that had recommended him to Anderson. She’d only flown with him once before in this timeline for some mission to take down a band of slaver’s, but she recognized the way he moved their ship immediately. That was three years before they started building the Normandy and she’d casually secured access to his file and sent it Anderson’s way with a note ‘One to watch :)’. She’d been told off for it. But after Anderson pulled her for his crew she’d prodded about Joker again, with a not so subtle comment on him being one of the best pilots she’d ever flown with, and Anderson had confirmed he’d been pulled for the Normandy. She counted the seconds waiting for Joker to explain what she already knew; That he was good at his job and he was the only one who could fly the Normandy to the best of her capabilities. He was glaring at her when he finally paused long enough for her to get a word in.

 

“I wasn't aware you were on my ground team  _ Jeff _ .” She drawled. "I'll write a note on your file. Local idiot thinks I'm going to take him off his ship."

 

His face scrunched up as he tried to process her words. "What? hey!”

 

"Honestly Joker, you’re a pilot. I’m not expecting you to do backflips down the CIC.” She dropped into the co-pilot seat. “And I'm not about to replace you. Not only would it be a pain in the ass. No one I could bring in would be as good.”

 

Her words took a moment to sink in before he fluffed up at the compliment. “Damn straight, commander." He eyed her as she stared out the window. "You know you're different than I was expecting.” She raised a brow looking over. "Everyone always talks about how you're some big shot above us mere mortals. Took it to mean you were kind of a dick.”

 

She snorted. “You save a colony from an invasion one time,” She shook her head. "And suddenly you're some sort of immortal hero with a huge ego. Shit, you know what I was thinking through all that?”

 

“Nope."

 

“I was thinking, Shit, I left the stove on. " She laughed. “There was this big invasion on Elysium, and all I could think of was that I might have been the reason the barracks burnt down.” Jeff burst out laughing. “I’m serious. Shit man, back when I lived on earth my roommate used to yell to hell and back at me for it all the time.”

 

“The almighty commander Shepard forgot to turn off the stove?” He switched on the autopilot.

 

“Uh yes? It was shut it off by my former roommate. But he’d failed to yell like he normally does and I was half convinced there’d be a fire when we finally made it back.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I prefered the pirates to the two hour lecture I got after he got out of medical.”

 

“Well, try not to set the Normandy on fire commander.” He joked.

 

“Alenko cooks enough to feed half the crew. I doubt I'll be touching the stove.” She waved a hand. “And he’s good at it… I burn toast.” She muttered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short bit of fun for april fools.

Normandy March 16, 2183

 

Liara’s dig site took a while to actually locate. She knew what planet she was on. But apart from that… Well there was a reason Liara was on it. It was full ruins. Not to mention they were already delayed with half a dozen requests to sort out pirates and the like on the way. She only hoped Liara was still alive. Not that she doubted Liara’s toughness. Liara was one of the first she’d trusted unconditionally.

 

She let herself tap out her reports a little more aggressively than usual. She ignored the sound of her door opening.

 

“Soooooo," Garrus drawled from her doorway. She looked over at him. “Dad sends his disappointment. 

 

Along with a 'Why am I not surprised you ran off with Shepard?’” He imitated Castis poorly.

 

She rolled her eyes pushing her chair back. “I honestly don't know what he was expecting from me. I think he had some hope the Alliance would straighten me out.”

 

Garrus huffed a laugh as he dropped down on her bed. "I mean from what he tells me..."

 

“Castis would imply I committed arson every Tuesday.” She rolled her eyes. “But I had the permits.” She cocked her head. “Most of the time.”

 

He snorted. “Well there was that one time…”

 

“We aren’t talking about my teenage inability to cook.” She grumbled. He laughed making it really hard to stay angry. He had a knack for knowing how to cheer her up.

 

“I don’t know Shep…” He grinned. “It was a pretty big evacuation…”

 

“You know I almost wish I left you behind now.” She scowled.

 

Therum March 17,  2183

 

The geth had long overrun the dig site on Therum. They’d had drop further from Liara in the mako. The mako was exactly how she remembered it being. Heavy and hard to maneuver. she could admit she wasn't the best driver. But like the normandy she'd pushed the mako well past anything the alliance thought it could handle on more than one occasion. Like most questions now, it was less a question of could she do something, but should she. Usually if she had to ask the answer was no. No, she shouldn't immediately floor the mako and test if the armor on the sides was as strong as she remembered. But dammit it was fun and she was still pissed they’d arrived so late despite her best efforts.

 

Liara wasn’t the easiest person to reach before now. She’d made a halfhearted attempt a few years back. But she’d had no reason to reply and unlike Garrus who’d been a tangible presence to harass, Liara wasn’t someone she could reach as a dumb twenty year old.

 

“Lila!” Garrus gripped her shoulder. “Can you maybe try not to kill us?” He hissed.

 

“Mako can handle worse than this.” She pulled the brake drifting into a geth colossus.  

 

Garrus let out a string of curses. “I think we’d all rather it didn’t.”

 

She glanced back noting Ashley also looked ready to hurl and eased off the gas a little. “Ruin my fun why don’t you.” She murmured as Garrus slipped back in the gunner seat.

 

He locked onto the colossus and fired the heavy gun. “You're a terrible driver Commander, and if Ashley throws up on me, I’m blaming you.”

 

In comparison to the drive, the digsite was relatively calm. Garrus and Ashley had been thrown by the wall crawlers. But they had nothing on the reaper abominations that were to come.

 

The trek down while full geth was easy enough to deal with for a man who spent his time off at the range and a woman with a grudge. They’d made record time to the drill, the bypass easier the second time around. Security in 2183 was something of a joke.

 

Ashley whistled as the drill activated. “You did that… Alarmingly fast.”

 

Shepard shrugged dropping into the hole left in the drills wake. “Call it a hobby.”

 

“A hobby? What, am I supposed to believe you rob banks in your spare time?” She snorted.

 

She thought about it for a moment taking just long enough for Ashley to shoot her an alarmed look. “Broke into a few private vaults, never a bank.” The most famous heist she’d done had been aided by Kasumi herself. Though, that was less of a heist and more of an ambush that would happen in about two years.

 

Garrus shook his head. “She contracted with a company that tested security systems before she joined the Alliance.” He patted Ashley’s shoulder. “It was legal.”

 

“Mostly.” She added.

 

“Right. Remind me to never get on your bad side commander.” She muttered dropping into the tunnel.

 

Liara was exactly like Shepard remembered her. She was a little younger and a lot more naive. But she was her Liara alright. The asari had been one of her best friends for years and while that history between them was gone. This was a fresh start where she could fix the mistakes of the past. She hadn’t been able to help her take down the shadow broker before and her friend had died. She could help this time. After all who better than the future shadow broker herself to help confirm her occasionally faulty memories.

 

“You know this wasn’t the way I was hoping to meet you doctor. Let’s get you on your feet shall we?” She poked at the terminal block trying to get it to activate it.

 

“You got past the barrier? I didn’t think…” Liara shook her head watching her prod at the prothean device.

 

“Yeah, well sometimes a hammer is the answer to getting through a locked door.” She murmured. “The place is probably gonna sink with us in it if we don’t do something.” She added finally activating the keyboard.

 

“Yes, we should probably hurry before more geth arrive.” She struggled against the containment field.

 

“Wait, can we even trust her.” Ashley cut in. “Her mother’s working with Saren. Who knows if she is too.”

 

Liara opened her mouth, shutting it when Shepard answered. “I trust her.” Garrus tilted his head then banished whatever confusion he had.

 

“I… thank you. I haven’t spoken to my mother in years. I dont know whats gotten into her. But I have nothing to do with her...”

 

Ashley ignored Liara pressing the issue.  “Commander, if she's lying..."

 

“She's not." She cut Ashley off tapping at the prothean keyboard until the field deactivated. “But even if she was, leaving her like this isn’t right. The digsite is coming down. Not to mention we came here to get her.” She looked at Ashley as the defenses went down. Ashley still looked ready to protest as she caught Liara steadying the asari. “Like it or not she’s coming with us.”

 

She had no patience for the krogan working for Saren. They could talk big all they wanted but Liara wasn’t going anywhere but with her. She eyed the krogan running her eyes over him. There really wasn't anything special about him but he carried himself like he was. Krogan had this habit of over confidence when they faced off against anyone but their own. It was something about only seeing brute force as threat.

 

She rolled her shoulders ignoring his demands to hand over Liara. “So why Saren? Don’t the krogan hate turians?” She drawled. “He can't be paying you well either. He’s made an enemy out of half the galaxy. The number of people he’s got to be paying off. Woof.” She whistled watching the krogan twitch in irritation. “So, let's make a deal here. You turn around and go home before this place sinks into an active volcano, and my team and I leave here with T’Soni.” The krogan growled. She cocked her head to the side pretending to examine her nails while she counted seconds in her head.

 

The krogan let out a snarl before he charged. God, they were always so predictable. She lodged two bullets in his eye before dodging to the left. 

 

“Why do you always have to bait them?” Garrus snapped pulling Liara into cover with him.

 

“Well its just so fun G.” She took out a geth trooper behind him. “And krogan are just so easy.” The fight didn’t take long. Her team was well versed in taking down the geth. Both she and Tali had gone over weak points after leaving the Citadel. It was something she'd have to do with Liara later after their mission briefing.

 

She shot the last krogan twice for good measure as she punched the lift button. Joker much like last time barely got them out in time complaining in his usual fashion; Sarcasm.


	8. Chapter 8

Normandy March 18, 2183

 

She’d more or less forced Liara to rest. She’d forgotten how bad the asari mind meld was on the user. The less connected they felt from the mind they were connecting to the worse it was. Not to mention she was still exhausted from Therum.

 

Liara had seen far more than Shepard had expected. She’d pulled up memories she tried to forget. Things like reaper abominations on earth, The catalyst, Javik. There were things she’d seen that hadn’t happened yet and might never be happen. The lines between memories were tricky especially when most were linked to the beacon in the first place.

 

It wasn't a conscious decision to see Liara after Chakwas had released her from medical. But she ended up there anyway. She and Liara hadn't been especially close until after Cerberus. She'd saved her and she'd done her best to keep in contact after.

 

“Commander," Liara practically leapt to her feet as the door opened. "I wasn't…”.

 

"Relax Liara. I just wanted to check in.” She leaned against the door frame. “Make sure you were actually getting some rest."

 

“Oh… I, yes.” She sat down again. "I'm alright." Shepard looked at her nails waiting. "Actually I've been looking into..."

 

“Rest Liara." She shook her head. “Seriously. We won't be hitting Feros for a few days.”

 

“I… Alright commander." Liara fidgeted.

 

“If you really want to look into things later. I'll forward you my reports after you've slept.” She tapped at the door panel. “You don't have to prove anything to me."

 

“Alright commander.” Liara frowned. “You… Why were you so quick to trust me? I could have been your enemy?”

 

Shepard paused waiting for the door to close. “Call it a hunch?" She looked back to find Liara still frowning. “Maybe not..."

 

“I'm not stupid commander."

 

"Of course not. Honestly it's complicated and probably a conflict of interest.” It was definitely a conflict of interest. She’d essentially sold information on Saren to the alliance to get off earth. She walked further into the room dropping into a spare chair.

 

Liara's eyes widened. “I'm not sure I follow…”

 

“I knew ahead of time you weren't involved Liara. But I didn’t have definite proof. I wasn’t going to make statements to the council I couldn't back up.” Or to her crew. She rolled her shoulder. “I have rumours that Benezia went with him to guide him down gentler paths. But given the nature of the Reapers…” She’d been indoctrinated. She’d been indoctrinated and she’d only been able to fight it off in the face of her daughter. Even then she’d killed herself. There was no escape from Reaper indoctrination Benezia knew that, even Saren knew that. Not that he wanted to admit it. “Anyway, join us in the mess after you've rested. Humans are more agreeable when we’re fed.”

 

It was her turn to cook. Which of course meant it was Kaidan's turn to cook as Garrus had strategically pulled her into an inspection of the mako. Last time she’d made due with serving rations until they got fed up; Hard to burn dehydrated space food. The SR-2 had a cook so it wasn’t until they were on the Citadel and she’d set Anderson's kitchen on fire that her crew realized she couldn't cook. She always managed to get sidetracked if things took more than five minutes to make. Garrus had a heads up this time. He’d made a point to volunteer to take over if Kaidan got fed up. Not that he had so far.

 

He eyed her as she ignored the lecture Garrus was still giving her about not using the mako as a battering ram. She wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't given up yet, but it might have had something to do the geth shaped dent they would be banging out after diner. She grabbed a plate with a soft thanks to Kaidan as Garrus grumbled past them to prepare his own rations. She nabbed a second plate for liara who’d been lurking by the table.

 

“Sooo, Liara.” She pulled the asari into the seat beside her. “About your paper on pre-prothean races creating the relays…”

 

Garrus groaned. “Why does that sound so familiar?"

 

"Because I was reading it when you arrested me.” She drawled. “The second  time.” She poked at her food.

 

He blinked thinking on it. “Riiiiiight. Then I spent the night on your couch with you yelling that it was a valid theory for three hours.”

 

She slammed her hands down on the table making everyone jump save for Garrus who was used to it. “And I was right!" She hissed. “The reapers predate the protheans and so do the relays.”

 

Garrus eyed her skeptically taking another bite. “You also said giant evil fish used to rule the galaxy.”

 

“Consider Garrus. Saren's ship is shaped like a giant cuttlefish.”

 

“I believe your argument hinged on the floor plan of the council chamber.” He pointed his fork at her.

 

“Also shaped like a cuttlefish.”

 

Kaidan snorted a laugh. “Why do I get the feeling this wasn't the last conversation that went that way.”

 

“It wasn't." Garrus drawled. “I had to read half a dozen papers myself to figure out what she was even talking about. Never thought I'd be reading about the protheans outside of school. But that’s Shepard for you.”

 

She ignored his grumbling about how much of a headache it had been. “Listen it’s entirely possible that the protheans built on the same ruins we did. Liara’s theories point to a cycle of extinctions that would be much easier to pull of if the race doing it could predict how we develop technologically.”

 

“Leaving building blocks…” Liara murmured. “It’s possible. Prothean ruins don't really say much about the races that lived there. It’s like they were wiped clean after.”

 

“So, what? Evil fish aliens are killing off the galaxy?” Kaidan shook his head.

 

“My guess would be AI. They're technically immortal, could probably hide in darkspace or something where organic life can't, and like most tech they take commands literally. An AI with vague instructions like ‘preserve life’ could come up with a solution that would technically solve the problem by killing everything.”

 

“So, the evil fish aliens…” Garrus prompted her to continue despite knowing exactly where she was taking this.

 

“Created the AI.” She shrugged. “It’s a working theory.” She shot Liara a wink sending her into a fit of giggles.

 

Feros March 18, 2183

 

The geth were crawling all over Feros when they docked. Every unit they took out was easily replaced by another crawling from every direction. They could push the geth out the colony but zuhs hope wasn't a bunker. It couldn't take heavy assault. Without taking the command point there would always be more and the whole colony would end up dead. 

 

The geth had effectively cut of all the colonies resources. Food, water, communication all of which would have to be restored once the geth were pushed back. It was maybe half an hour

 

Knowing there was a mind influencing plant made a lot of thing the colonists said make a lot of sense. Comments about the heart of the colony. The headaches they suffered, the man fighting for his mind beneath them. The problem is they needed the thorian to stop Saren. It held the key to deciphering where he was going and beacon said in exact words. 

 

But removing the geth came first. Then killing the thorian and extracting its knowledge. 

 

The Exogeni facility was a mess. Worse than she remembered. considering her memories or the place were a haze of gunfire followed by both the thorian and liara messing with her head. It was remarkably clear. Only they hadn't actually convinced the thorian to help. There had a woman. 

 

She shook her head focusing on the fight at hand. They were halfway to the VI that had the answers they needed. 

 

Lizbeth's access card hadn't had much use so far. Probably because the geth had elected to blow off the most of the doors and erect their own. What the access card did do was grant them access the VI lovingly guarded by a frustrated krogan that Wrex handled. Or rather continued to handle while she pestered the VI with questions. 

 

Tali winced as the krogan was slammed into the wall a sixteenth time. “Should we stop him?" She shifted further away from them. 

 

“Probably.” Shepard sighed. "Wrex. If you're done painting with his face, we have a lead.” 

 

Wrex dropped the barely conscious krogan. “Good, I just finished teaching this kid a lesson.”

 

She made a face at the downed krogan. “Do lessons usually turn people into soup nowadays?” she walked past leaving the krogan injured but alive. 

 

Lizbeth had done her best to explain herself when they returned and Shepard let her. It was more of a show than anything. It wasn’t her ethics Shepard questioned. She had tried to end the experiments. It was the Exogeni that had made it continue, a large company that had cut off its morals in exchange for profit.

 

Convincing Exogeni to spare Zhu’s Hope and everyone who knew of it was another ordeal altogether. The thing about greedy old men was if you flattered them enough, before proposing things it went easier. She hated every second of it but it got the job done even if it made her feel a bit slimy. Exogeni got their survival story, the one where they covered up  _ why _ the geth were there and focused on the aftermath and rebuilding for good PR, and Zhu’s Hope and the other colonists got to live. That was all provided Shepard and her could reach the thorian.

 

It took a combination of gas grenades and hand to hand to get through the colony. It was difficult but she would have put twice the effort if it meant no civilians died on her watch. The thorian may regard them as little more than disposable tools, but she wasn't careless with people's lives. She'd watched far too many people die already and the war was only just starting.

 

There was no reasoning with the thorian, not that she didn't try. Saren’s betrayal was still to fresh in it's mind, the geth attacks to recent, humanity’s crimes against its own people too obvious. It didn't matter that she had nothing to do with that. There were too many differences between her and it, to make peace when it didn’t want it. Shiala, was another story. The abandoned asari was eager to right the wrongs Saren and Sovereign had done with her.

 

“You aren't twitching." She observed before she could stop herself. She cursed herself grateful that Wrex and Tali we're out of earshot.

 

Shiala blinked. “Sorry?"

 

“You spent time on Sovereign. I was expecting some signs of its influence.” She shrugged.

 

Her eyes widened. "I'm not sure but I think the thorian may have done something about that. I can sort of feel the thorian still if that makes sense.”

 

She shook her head. “Maybe. It’s not something people usually recover from.” she patted Shiala’s arm. “For what it’s worth Shiala, I’m glad you’re free of it. Indoctrination doesn't treat its victims kindly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my cat kept laying on the keyboard as i was writing this so this chapter is dedicated to the purring mess that hindered me writing it.


	9. Chapter 9

Normandy march 19, 2183

 

Engineering was usually a comfortable hum of activity. Both Adams and Tali were a source of back and forth questions. Tali was usually the one with the answers. The other two engineers were content to watch when they were there. 

 

She was restless and fidgety after Feros no doubt mulling over geth data. “Shepard!” Lila nodded an acknowledgement. “About the geth data on Feros…”

 

“I already forwarded it to you, along with my report on Feros.” She’d gone into detail on the geth’s behaviour in it. It had seemed odd from the perspective of who didn’t know the geth with Saren were a different sect of geth. Knowing the truth Legion would tell her a year from now it made sense. The geth were torn between worshiping a being greater than them, fighting it’s as fodder and living as peacefully as they could. 

 

Tali paused, confusion clear in how she fidgeted with her hands. “Oh. Huh? Okay.”

 

Shepard laughed. “It’s for your pilgrimage, right? Your people have far more use for that data than mine do. It seemed like a given to pass it along.”

 

Tali shook her head. “When you put it that way it makes sense.” she fumbled behind her for her tablet eager to dig into the data. “Thank you, Shepard.”

 

Luna March 23, 2183

 

Edi had been a footnote in a report once, the AI making its first waves on Luna, Earth’s moon. It was still a footnote but it was at least an interesting one with a old friend waiting when they reached Earth.

 

It was the first time in decades that she'd been ‘home’. It was weird and confusing considering the Citadel more of home than Earth anymore. Earth felt painful to look at. You don't just unsee your home burning, it lingers. In way Earth would both always be her home and never be one again.

 

On the bright side of being back it meant she could call Lorelei without the delay. Lorelei, who would lecture her like always for not dropping in, as if she could. She didn't mind the lectures. It was nice to know still she cared. What she did mind was the knowing look Garrus shot her as he prepared the mako before their drop. He wasn't coming with them this time but he always saw them off.

 

Tali had picked up on it too. “So this is Earth. It's bluer than I expected." She murmured. 

 

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. “It's been a little over a decade since I set foot on it. I try to keep my distance.”

 

Kaidan frowned. “Why's that commander?"

 

“It's a long and complicated story…” One she didn’t have a way to tell. So much of her past was based on a lie she couldn’t expose. 

 

Tuntau March 25, 2183

 

Wrex had played off how much retrieving his grandfather’s armor had meant to him but it was obvious in his demeanor when they found the outpost they were looking for. It was some heavily guarded warehouse waiting to ship off smuggled goods to the highest bidder. From the looks of it he hadn't expected anything to come of mentioning it on the normandy despite her promise. 

 

He’d respected her when they met. But respect and trust weren’t the same thing. They weren’t really friends yet, that would take more time. 

 

The fight was fairly standard. The smugglers didn't know they were coming and they like many others assumed the krogan was the only one they had to worry about. Both Ashley and herself were more than capable.  

 

They won with Ashley's usual comment on how alarmingly good at breaking locks she was. It didn’t matter how many times she explained that security was usually a joke or that it had been her job once. It was worth it though to see Wrex grumble that the armor was really shitty and he appreciated it.

 

MSV Fedele April 2, 2183

 

Garrus had been frustrated about Dr.Saleon for years. It didn't surprise her in the least when he brought up the case while checking upgrades on the mako. It didn't matter that he wasn't C-Sec anymore or that the case was cold. Justice had always been more important to him. Justice that meant that she was going to be following his lead on the doctor before he ran off and did it himself. And people thought she was the impulsive one. 

 

The actual trip was a short one. The bloodstains on the MSV Fedele were a giveaway of his activities even if Garrus hadn’t told her about the case. The things she knew and the things Garrus knew about the man frustrated them both. She wasn’t surprised in the least despite when Garrus just wanted to shoot him. 

 

The problem was there were people other than them that wanted justice. The Citadel as flawed as it was was their best chance at closure. But Saleon wasn't having any of it.

 

She’d sent a report back to Chellick on the Citadel about what happened after. Saleon was identified on a drifting cargo ship. When they’d attempted to arrest him he resisted and they’d been left no choice but to shoot him. Blood and organs at the scene confirm more victims to his name. It was a disappointing end but at least some of his victims would have closure.


	10. Chapter 10

Noveria April 5, 2183 

 

Garrus hated Noveria, and more than that he hated that she knew well in advance that he would. With all the corruption, bureaucracy, and the cold he was grumbling the entire time.

 

“You know Pallaven is warm right? It’s warm and sunny and it doesn't have much snow.” Garrus grumbled. “You know what Novaria has? Snow. I've never seen so much ice in one place. I'm going to hate this aren't I?”

 

“You know what _I'm_ going to hate? The fact that we are definitely getting stopped by those guards over there.”

 

“I don't know how you two are still joking.” Liara muttered.

 

"Easy, it’s called I've seen worse and it's a hobby to see how far bullshit will take me.” She rolled her shoulders as the guards stopped them casting Garrus a knowing look.

 

Word hadn’t gotten around in isolated parts like Noveria that humanity had a spectre. She’d expected it, but it didn’t make it any less annoying. She didn’t bother raising her weapon when the guards moved to take them. Liara and Garrus had that covered shooting her an alarmed look when they noticed. She stared down the obvious leader doing her best to appear bored as Garrus reiterated that their authority outranked theirs.

 

The leader glared. Shepard smiled counting seconds on her fingers until the intercom sounded telling the guards to stand down. She wasn’t usually the type to rub salt in the wound but wasn’t about to stop her team from making comments and Garrus usually had something to say.

 

Entering port Hanshen was the usual hassle Spectres usually bypassed. To be fair port Hanshen had waived most of their procedures for her despite not expecting her. But being pulled aside to talk port politics with someone that expected her to play by their rules was irritating. Worse, going through the motions of those politics was about to give her a headache. She couldn’t just say she knew damn well that Parasini was an internal affairs agent angling for Shepard to close her case. Not without actual proof anyway.

 

Anolais was just as abrasive and rude as she remembered and even more unhelpful. She’d spent most of their conversation watching him get angrier as he realized she knew she was wasting his time and she was enjoying it. “Well that was… Worthless.” She mimed eyeing her nails. “A word of advice. Don’t look to me if your plans go up in flames.”

 

“You certainly think highly of your…” The salarian started to snap.

 

“Now you're wasting _my_ time.” She cut him off. “I’d say goodbye but I wouldn't mean it.” She turned on her heel.

 

Parasini eyed her as they exited his office failing to hide her confused expression. “I was going to say you had no way with politics but…”

 

“Call it karma finally catching up if you will.” She glanced at her ground team. “Not to mention I have a knack for knowing when someone is wanting. There’s a few people here that fit that bill. Some of them can even get me what I need.” She looked back to Parasini.

 

Parasini shook her head failing to hide the upward twitch of her lips. “You’re a lot more versed in things than I was expecting.”

 

“That’s the point.” She agreed. “People don’t look for the knife they don’t think is coming.”

 

Parasini glanced at her computer. “Try a turian named Lorik Qu’In. He’ll be at the hotel bar.” she whispered.

 

Noveria had them running around far too much for her liking. It was a simple enough task to convince guards to leave loriks office. Simple enough to convince lorik to testify for Parasini. The highlight out of all of it was befriending the turian mechanic, Lilihierax.

 

Convincing Liara and Garrus who knew her well enough that she was actually surprised that the geth were on Noveria was another story. Liara was the one that had forced her to admit she thought Saren was predictable and that he'd really have to work to surprise her. He had the geth, some mercenaries, and Sovereign. That was like four cards Liara, _if_ they counted him. It was always geth or mercenaries. Sometimes both. He saved Sovereign and himself for special occasions.

 

When they did get out of port Hanshen it was no one’s idea of a good time. It was cold and overrun with geth and they’d had to exit the mako on more than one occasion.

 

“Turians don't like the cold Shepard. Did I ever mention that?” Garrus grumbled as they rounded what she hopped was the last bend.

 

"At least a dozen times in the past hour, G.” She kept the mako steady for once, careening off a cliff wasn’t her idea of a good time. Nothing on noveria was. "I’m not a fan either. It's why the heater is cranked up all the way.” She almost felt sorry for Liara for the heat. Both she and Garrus had similar tastes when it came to climate.

 

"Riiight, so remind me again why I was your first choice to come here.” He grumbled again.

 

She didn’t hesitate in her reply. "Suffer pact. If I have to be miserable and cold so do you. It’s in the contract.”

 

“I don't remember signing anything like that…” He mumbled.

 

Liara laughed. “Must have been in the fine print."

 

“The same fine print that said we were allowed to refuse unsafe work?” Garrus mused as she pulled up to peak fifteen. He readied his rifle. “Or was it the fine print that said you were actually capable of driving without making anyone throw up, but you prefer not to.” She shot him a grin exiting the mako.

 

The bright side of being from the future was that when the rachni showed up she was prepared. She knew to yell orders orders to her squad about weaknesses. Krogan usually went for the neck, there was a gap in their plates where you could ram a knife into their brain. But unless you were built like a krogan you were better off aiming for the eyes or at their legs.

 

Apart from the rachni there were few complications. There was the stray bioweapon was being developed and then there was Benezia.

 

She was… Shepard could see the ticking that Sovereigns indoctrination had done. Late stage indoctrination was always rough. Benezia was lucid at moments but she'd forced their hand.

 

Liara had wanted to come she'd insisted it would be fine. But this had hit her hard.

 

“Liara,” She touched her shoulder.

 

Liara brushed her off. “I’m fine Shepard.”

 

Lila shook her head taking a breath. “You’re allowed to be upset.” She started watching as Liara paused. “She’s was your mother liara. When you're ready. My door is always open.”

 

“I… thank you Shepard.” The moment didn't last much longer interrupted by the rachni queen.

 

“So Saren had rachni..." Garrus hummed.

 

“Five cards. Big deal. He can play poker with the big boys now.”

 

"And some asari commandos…"

 

“Do you want me to say I'm bad at math? I am. Ignorance, blah, blah, blah. Call me a fool but I like believing the best of people.” She answered the underlying question in his words before walking away.

 

“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” He followed her. “I just meant…”

 

“That you don't understand my decision about the rachni queen.”

 

“Yes.” He admitted. “I mean there was a war with the rachni and you just let her go.”

 

She frowned. “I know what it’s like to ask for a second chance and to be given one. People like me and her, we do our best to prove that we deserve it. It’s rare someone actually believes we’ll make something of ourselves worth anything. Take the Council for example. They don’t actually believe we can stop Saren. They spend all day criticizing mistakes they couldn’t have done better.” He frowned. “It’s the people that actually put their faith in you that pull you through. I have you, and the crew, Anderson, a couple people on Earth…” She looked back. “And she has me. If shit hits the fan I’ll take the blame. But I won't regret giving her a chance.”

 

Noveria April 6, 2183 

 

There wasn't much time for shore leave when a galactic invasion imminent. Usually it was forced when the ship needed maintenance. She'd been itching to leave the moment they finished their work on Noveria. Unfortunately the Normandy had other plans. It was how she'd gotten roped into a poker game her crew had no hopes of winning.

 

Garrus had taken the opportunity to do his best to spill the secrets of off duty Shepard. Namely what he remembered from the mile long file C-Sec had on her due to one Castis Vakarian and himself.

 

Her crew were in rapt disbelief at most of the stories. They lost more and more credits as she confirmed that yes, she did do all that nonsense.

 

She kicked Garrus in the shin a third time. “I thought C-Sec records were supposed to be confidential.”

 

Garrus laughed. “I mean I could tell the one about that one time with the waitress at that restaurant, where you spilled …”

 

“No." She cut him off. “I'd actually forgotten about that. Thanks for reminding me.” She sent a half hearted glare his way.

 

Tali leaned over. “Now I'm curious."

 

Garrus opened his mouth shutting it just as quickly. “I’m pretty sure Shep would kill me if I told that one…” He took a sip as Tali pouted. “You know what I'm still mad about. The batarian poker incident.”

 

She set her drink down. “I'm sorry?”

 

“So, Shepard came back to the Citadel on leave after the Blitz and encountered this batarian scam artist. A smuggler type that expected to take everything she had. Only Shepard...”

 

“Oh, that one. Look I used to run that scam back on Earth.” She rolled her eyes. “The operation was so shoddy I could and _did_ run it better.”

 

“Shep those decks are illegal..."

 

“Details Garrus. I don't run it anymore. Anyway long story short, I won all his money and he got mad.” She finished off her drink.

 

"Which lead to me getting a call, that there was an angry batarian chasing you through the wards trying to kill you.” He jabbed a finger at her.

 

“It closed your case though. Legally even." She eyed her nails. “Hard to deny an attempted murder charge when you were seen by half the Citadel. Not to mention he’d have gotten in deeper shit if he tried to say I used _his_ illegal deck to take his money.”

 

“He did Shep. He did and we got arrest warrants for the rest of his friends because of it.” Garrus grumbled.

 

She snorted. “Dumbass. Listen I don't know why you keep bringing this up as if I didn't do a public service.”

 

“We’d been trying to get him for months Shepard! You did it in two hours!”

 

“I kept telling you to send an undercover…”

 

“We did!”

 

“That actually knows how to win.” She flagged down another drink.

 

He ran a hand over his face. “The point of that scam is that you don't win unless they want you to win.”

 

She grinned. “The point of those decks is you can hijack the signal from a mile away. It's why they're illegal Garrus.” She took a drink.

 

“So what I'm getting from this story,” Kaidan started. “Is, we’re going to lose all our money to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in the middle of looking for a place rn. So updates are slower than usual as instead of playing Mass effect I've been packing and binge watching persona 5 streams... Sorry...


	11. Chapter 11

Normandy April 8, 2183

 

Firefly was a little drone she’d been working on since Earth. It was a tough little thing, small enough most scanners didn’t pick it up. She’d tinkered enough with it could fly past most things save for geth radars. And so she’d disassembled it again. The scattered parts on the mess table drawing Tali up from engineering and Garrus to his usual perch; The one on the wall behind her pestering her about why she was rebuilding it again. Tali had made short work of her blueprints peppering her with questions pointing out flaws. Shepard had surrendered the drone to her capable hands for the most part. 

 

Half way through Garrus had wandered off to bug Joker, and Kaidan had slipped in more curious than anything. In truth she wanted Firefly ready for Virmire. Aerial maps would be useful for an infiltration mission. It would also give her an excuse for knowing how to infiltrate it. 

 

After she'd realized what her dreams were she'd kept careful track of them. She had documents full of maps and notes, places she remembered, things that hadn't happened. Things hadn't changed much from her memories. What had changed she was more than prepared to face. 

 

Like the detour alliance command was telling her to make to retrieve a relic of the first contact war. She didn't remember anything about it from her former life. But that was to be expected. She couldn't remember everything.  

 

Agebinium April 10, 2183

 

She was fairly certain the alliance would throw a fit if she mentioned she'd brought Garrus to recover their missing nuke. But Garrus wasn't one to care and she felt more comfortable jumping into the  _ unknown _ with him more than anyone else. She was also sure it was a trap, considering it was on the opposite side of the Galaxy from where it should have been. Between him, Tali, and herself their squad had most angles covered when it inevitably got ugly. And it did, because it was a fucking bomb. 

 

Whoever had retrieved it had dragged it down into an abandoned mine. That was the first sign of trouble. The second was that it collapsed behind them after they reached the bomb. 

 

Some human she only vaguely remembered had started monologuing about something she'd messed up. She'd messed up a lot more than her fair share of nefarious plots. Too many to figure out which one this guy belonged to until he told them.

 

“Oh. It's you.” She let out a deep sigh. “Didn’t I kill you on Elysium? I feel like you should be dead. If not I can arrange that shortly.” She drawled waving at Tali to start on the door. The Quarian nodded. 

 

“I’d worry more about how you’re going to get out of this one Shepard.” Garrus had started poking at the bomb in the other corner. 

 

“Really? Because your firewalls are made of paper. And considering how our communications are blocked you must be nearby. How fortunate for me.” The lock on the door released. “Well I’ve had enough, I’d say it's been a pleasure. But seeing you is like swallowing a live eel.” Garrus pried off the front panel as she ended the call. She reached past him ignoring the open panel to tap out a quick bypass on the screen. 

 

Garrus twitched a little. “I'm starting to think Ashley has a point, not sure if I should be alarmed or impressed, Shepard.”

 

She grinned. "A little of both?” He laughed readying his rifle. 

 

It wasn't a simple fight after but nothing compared to fighting the reaper abominations that didn't exist yet. Even motivated by revenge mercenaries were still just mercenaries and they'd made one fatal mistake.

They'd threatened her friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter as the next one is going to be fairly long. Next chapter is Vimire and potentially immediately after virmire. Then I believe it's straight to the citadel then ilos and the fight with saren. Then it's the end of part one baby. We get to move on to part two ballad for battleships.


	12. Chapter 12

Virmire April 12, 2183 

 

She'd sent Firefly up when they landed. Tali had modified the palm sized robot to not show up on geth scanners better than she ever could. The perks of that were that get had far better scanners than most of the Galaxy. If the geth couldn't pick up Firefly it would be unlikely that anyone could. It wasn't anything special otherwise. It did little more than overhead recon. But she'd never intended for it to do more than that.

 

It hadn't gathered much more than the salarian captain already knew by the time they reached him, save for the layout of the facility. The briefing that followed was more for her ground team than herself. Virmire was a mission she'd never forget. One she hoped she could change. 

 

The salarian had bristled with the news that they were all he was getting. “The council received half a transmission and they sent it to me.” She eyed the salarian. “I am all the backup they're sending. Unless you want to wait another month.” The salarian twitched. “Look, I know I don't look like much, but I make a living betting on impossible odds and I have a fair idea what's happening here.”

 

The salarian sighed. “You'll have to do. We can't wait that long." He shifted. "Did the council brief you on what's going on?"

 

"Why would they? They're politicians." She shrugged. “That said, I have my suspicions on what’s happening here. I picked up a bit about researching Saren's ship and the genophage” 

 

The salarian nodded. "That would line up with our own Intel. Though his ship is hardly a priority. What concerns me is his attempts to breed an army of krogan. Rumor has it he's had some success.” 

 

Wrex growled behind her. “How is that possible?"

 

"Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage." He drawled. 

 

"Then Saren has an army of krogan on top of the geth."

 

"The genophage is all that is stopping the krogan from overrunning the galaxy Shutting down this facility…"

 

“We are not a mistake." Wrex cut him off. "my people…"

 

"wrex!” She snapped.

 

He glared at her. “Those are my people, Shepard. If there's a cure.”

 

“Stay or cool your head but let us finish. There's more to this." She held her ground waiting. 

 

He crossed his arms settling across from them. "I don't like this Shepard." 

 

"I know." She turned back to Kirrahe. “I honestly don't care about salarian interests in destroying the genophage research.” Wrex grit his teeth. “What concerns me," She cut the salarian off electing to ignore his attempt to interrupt. “Is a stray file I found regarding it and indoctrination as we were landing.”

 

Kirrahe squinted. "I'm not sure I know what you mean by that?" 

 

“The research Saren is conducting on his ship specifically used the word indoctrination. My concern is not for a genophage cure, but that if I interpreted the file right my target is attempting to take control of the krogan race."

 

Wrex stepped in front of her. “What are you talking about Shepard?”

 

“I intercepted an outgoing broadcast entering atmo. Most of it was censored but what I could read was enough to draw conclusions. It lined up with the things we learned on Noveria and Feros.” She held his gaze. She was lying about how she'd obtained it but the information itself was true. There was no easy way to say she'd remembered it while remaining credible. 

 

Wrex scowled as she continued. “I'm not about to stand between you and your people, Wrex. But this is Saren. You know as well as I do that he doesn't care about curing the genophage. Not without an ulterior motive.”

 

Wrex growled. “Damnit, Shepard if Saren has the cure for my people…!"

 

“Would you want your people be turned into mindless weapons for him to use?” She cut in. “Wrex, I'll look into it. But I'm not about to risk Saren using your entire race as an army.”

 

He glared at her for a moment. “Fine.” he grumbled. “I'll trust you Shepard. But I want to kill the bastard myself.”

 

“That was the plan when we dropped wasn't it?” He eyed her before nodding. 

 

“Well," Kirrahe hummed. “That was solved quickly. Impressive Shepard.” She rolled her eyes at Wrex. “Give me a moment with my men and I'll come up with something.” 

 

She nodded letting the salarian leave before waving her ground crew over. “The likely outcome is that we're going to be split up between Kirrahe's team, mine, and a small team of both on the Normandy. Wrex and Liara will be with me. Our job will depend on whatever plan the salarians come up with. Apart from that we'll be looking for any data to prove to the council the reapers are a real threat. Ashley, I want you with Kirrahe's team coordinating. I want to know if you're being overwhelmed. We can likely trigger security systems and draw attention elsewhere from inside the base.” She'd spent two years studying security systems specifically to do that.

 

“Got it commander.” She nodded. 

 

“Tali, Kaidan, Garrus. I want you on the Normandy with whatever device we'll be using to blow this place up.”

 

"You talk like you already know how things are going to play out.” Ashley observed. 

 

She kicked at the sand. “Well given the resources we have and the layout of the base…” She pulled up an aerial map of the area on her Omni tool. “It's what I would do. Call it a tail pulling tactic.” 

 

Kirrahe eyed the map humming. “I wasn't aware you had Intel on the area."

 

“You didn't ask, Kirrahe.” She eyed the route they’d taken last time. “I sent a drone up when we dropped. Firefly is updating the map as we speak.”

 

He hummed assessing her further. "We were going to convert our drive core into a bomb." He explained. "And detonate it from inside the facility. Largely we'll be following the plan you laid out for your team. I'm going to divide my crew into three teams while yours sneaks through the back. It should be no problem with your map of the facility."

 

"Anything can happen but we're prepared." She nodded to her team to take their places. 

 

Kirrahe's speech was their send off as much as his crews. His desperation for the mission to succeed barely hidden. This mission was a disaster the first time round and she had no doubt it would be a second time. 

 

The facility was a cesspit of the indoctrinated and the not quite indoctrinated. She was almost certain with how everyone they came across was twitching there was either an artifact on Virmire. Or more likely Sovereign was directly responsible.

 

The asari neurologist Rana Thanopsis was almost certainly indoctrinated too in hindsight. But considering she'd already started running there wasn't much she could do about it. Death was a mercy for any of the indoctrinated. The only known cure being to fall under the thrall of another, like the other asari with the thorian on Feros had. The next time they met would be different. For now she'd been useful. The door to Saren's private lab had opened to exactly what they needed. 

 

The proof that Sovereign was one one of many and a fully functional beacon. She'd been relying on her own memories to fill gaps but she was failable. There was information they needed that she didn't know and this was the best way to get it. 

 

Sovereign had made his own appearance after his cryptic marks as much looking down on them as they were dodging answers. It confirmed itself to be an AI but said nothing solid about the invasion to come. In the end it was what she'd already known. The cycle was starting over again and the Reapers were making their move to return.

 

Then there was more geth, and krogan, and the indoctrinated. Wave after wave stopping only briefly barely giving them time to set up the bomb.

 

Saren was openly twitching when he arrived. His arms shook slightly when he fired at them. Never enough to throw off his aim but enough. He looked bad. His eyes unfocused and erratic. His movements reckless. His usual monologue of superiority was disjointed like someone else was speaking through him.

 

“Do you think Sovereign will let you live through this?” She cut him off. “That if you prove your worth your people will be spared? Tell me Saren,” She held his gaze. “How many extinctions have come before you? How many more will come after? There _is_ no negotiating with them. Their programming doesn’t allow it.”

 

He frowned. “That’s… No.” he shook his head.

 

“I've seen the same things you have. The prothean's warning and their death.” She held her ground. “We are no different. They dont give a damn what we have to offer.”

 

He shook his head, the twitching growing stronger as he struggled to separate his thoughts from Sovereign’s. She tapped out a quick message while he was distracted sending it to him. It wouldn’t change much but it was worth a try.

 

_You aren’t the first to fall to a Reaper’s false promises._

 

He didn't stay much longer, too reckless for a fight. Too confused to be controlled by Sovereign. The ship had called him back sending more of the geth their way. It left them to the rest of their mission. Destroying everything.

 

Kaidan had been closest. He'd tried and failed to convince her he needed to stay behind to make sure the timer went off. But they'd welded the panels shut even the geth would have problems opening it in time.

 

Ashley was different, already swarmed by the geth. They'd reached her but… she chose to stay behind. As the last of the salarian team filed into the Normandy she held her ground. The only one stopping the geth from reactivating the anti-aircraft gun. She made the call for Shepard.

 

Normandy April 14, 2183

 

Somehow losing people the second time hurt worse. The first time had a buffer of shock. The second time…

 

She'd seen it coming. she'd known Virmire would be a disaster. She could feel the grief of losing Ashley again and the weight of years on her shoulders telling her nothing would change. 

 

She'd looked over her footage at least a dozen times since they'd left virmire searching for something… anything. Work was easier than dealing with her death. 

 

It hit the crew hard too; Kaidan more than the others. She'd never been any good at consoling people. She had no idea what she was supposed to say or how to deal with tears. She hadn't had much time for that on earth and now…

 

"Do you have a moment, Shepard?" Liara spoke, breaching the quiet of her room. She didn't wait for an answer as she entered. "Are you doing okay?"

 

Shepard hesitated. "I…"

 

"I'm sorry if I'm overstepping." She fidgeted. "It's just, the others are worried and Chakwas said you hadn't checked in yet, and Garrus…" She started rambling. 

 

"I'll be okay Liara." She cut her off attempting a smile. "Really." 

 

“Shepard, you're allowed to grieve.” Liara touched her arm. “You're allowed to be just you for a moment. You're allowed to let yourself be upset." She paused pulling back. "My door is open if you need to talk."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not entirely happy with the way this turned out. But if I don't post it now I'll be forever fussing over it and it'll never get done. 
> 
> The next chapter is a little more light hearted.


	13. Chapter 13

Citadel April 20, 2183

 

Civil wasn't a word she associated with Ambassador Udina. If she was being honest she wasn't entirely sure how he'd even managed to secure his job. He was abrasive and petty and rude to everyone. Even as she'd watched it play out in real time she didn't understand it. Or Maybe she was just bitter that every time she got a step closer to her goals udina told her off. 

 

Being called back to the Citadel when she'd only just started her mission wasnt her idea of a good time, but apparently Virmire had bought her more scrutiny and skepticism. 

 

They'd made a fuss about her report on the reapers, locked her out of her damn ship, and grounded her crew when they needed to be following saren to the Mu relay. She'd spent the better part of the day being as much of a pain in Udina's ass as she could because of it. She'd been causing problems since she'd first arrived on the Citadel. She had enough practice as a nuisance. She'd also stolen his credit chit. 

 

“I get the feeling they aren't used to seeing krogan walking around up here.” Wrex muttered watching her scroll through her tablet in front of the embassies. 

 

She cast her gaze back at him for a moment before looking back to the list of questionable paid subscriptions she was signing Udina up for. “Well that's their problem. Way I see it they can get over themselves for a few hours.” She hummed. “Or maybe they should just get used to it. If things go where I think they're going. The Galaxy is going to need the krogan.” 

 

Wrex shuffled behind her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

 

“It means give it three human years or so. When shit hits the fan, it's gonna hit hard and fast. We'll need the krogan. This thing with Saren… Call it a feeling but I doubt it'll end with him. He's a pawn and he knows it as well as I do.”

 

"You know a lot more than you're saying commander.” he observed.

 

“yeah. I know way more. The problem with that is, it's not going to make much sense and I'd rather keep my credibility.” She leaned back against the railing around the presidiums lake. "the beacon showed a lot and well, I have a history with saren and the thing that made him like this. He's always been an asshole, but he's also always had his people's best interests in mind. What he's doing now is going to wipe them off the face of the Galaxy along with the rest of us. But he's still convinced reapers will keep his people alive if they prove their worth.”

 

“So he's afraid." Wrex snorted a laugh.

 

“Yeah. I am too. I know the threat the reapers pose and what will happen if we fail. If Saren succeeds it'll be a Galaxy wide extinction that'll maybe take the rest of your life span at most. If we win. we buy the time we need to prepare for it. To find a solution so what happened to the protheans doesn't happen to us. We need the krogan. That's a fact. We need the whole damn Galaxy and more.”

 

Wrex hummed. "Three years huh?”

 

"Give or take." She shot him a smile. “You can quote me on that if you want." She returned to her tablet. 

 

"What exactly are you doing with that?" He eyed the tablet. "Performance enhancement…?"

 

"See I'm not so sure it's worth it. Does Udina even fuck?" She flicked the credit chit into the presidiums lake. "Regardless I need a drink." 

 

It'd been too long since she'd visited her apartment on the Citadel. Under all the dust it hadn't changed in the slightest. 

 

The wards lights still shone through her window. Her bed was still made. Her cupboards still empty. Darius had long moved out, a permanent resident of his ships engineering deck. If she was being honest she'd only kept the place as a tether to the Citadel. Despite everything, it had become home.

 

Normandy April 25, 2183

 

Almost a week of waiting had put everyone on edge. Garrus had more or less moved in to her apartment, a permanent resident of her couch despite her offering him the spare room. It felt right despite the underlying anxiety. 

 

He’d been trying and failing to find them a loophole in citadel law that would force Udina to release their ship. But there wasn’t one; Not that he could find. In the end it was Anderson that had the solution taking a page from her old books and breaking into Udina's office. It was technically treason but she could make the charge go away after the Citadel was safe from Saren. That and it was satisfying to know that Anderson had knocked him out.

 

The Citadel wasn’t going to stop the Normandy. What ships they did have fast enough to chase down the Normandy would only be ready after the Normandy hit the relay. They were more prepared for an invasion than a break out.

 

“You've got a call from the council commander.” Joker drawled. “Want me to ignore it?”

 

She’d expected it, the council demanding she come back. “Nah, send it through.”

“Commander Shepard…" The turian councilor started.

 

"Can we skip the part where you tell me you're mad that I stole my ship?" She cut him off. "Because the way I see it, I'm not the one in the wrong here. You gave me a mission to stop Saren, and I'm going to finish it. You don't want to believe me about the Reapers?  _ Fine _ . you don’t want to accept my reports? _ Fine. _ Let me at least complete my job."

 

The turian scowled. "We…" 

 

She hung up on him before he could finish paging Joker. “Now you can ignore the council. Take us to Ilos, Joker.” 


	14. Chapter 14

Ilos April 28, 2183

 

Somewhere between Eden Prime and the crucible being swarmed with geth and husks became the norm. Ilos was beautiful in its own right, the ruins overrun by plants. But there wasn't time to appreciate it with fighting and saren so close.

 

Beating him to the conduit was an impossible task. They’d barely arrived on time to follow him. It was annoying. She knew each step he’d take before he took it; where he’d go, what he’d do. But it was never enough. No one wanted to believe an apocalypse was coming, so they were fighting it. 

 

Garrus had refused to sit this mission out and Wrex had all but demanded his inclusion. The others had tried to volunteer but they’d been first.

 

There wasn’t an easy way to say they were entering a graveyard so she hadn't. Wrex and garrus were quick to pick up on it anyway. The stasis pods that lined the main road lay open, each a coffin. Each a reminder of what she was trying to stop. 

 

Vigil was another reminder; the ai running the place. it had been forced awake when saren cut through the ruin. It had kept quiet, its purpose for preventing another reaper invasion. But it saw everything. Its revelation that it had watched the extinction of its creators had shocked wrex and Garrus. But she'd already seen it. She knew too well what the reapers were capable of. She could still see the echo of earth burning when she closed her eyes and the citadel…

 

It was getting harder to ignore the sense of impending doom. 

 

"If Sovereign plans to attack the citadel then we should hurry." She cut off Garrus' next question. "I assume you have a way to shut the Citadel relay down more permanently."

 

"Yes." Vigil confirmed. Her omni tool lit up with the transfer of data. 

 

Then like the rest of it's creators, it ceased to exist. She didn't have time to mourn the loss of an ancient ai now. Vigil had chosen to take itself offline. 

 

"So," Garrus strapped himself into the mako beside her. "Now might be a good time to drive like a maniac."

 

"You gonna get mad at me for a few geth shaped dents?" She'd already started accelerating. 

 

He gripped the dashboard. "If we die because of your driving."

 

She swerved dodging what geth she could avoid. She didn't bother to answer. She could already feel the dread setting in. She knew what was coming. The citadels VI flickering and stuttering as they pulled themselves out of the wreaked mako. The corpses of various diplomats impaled on the dragon teeth. The bad elevator music as they took the lift up to the council chamber…

 

"Lila!" She swerved around another geth. "Lila!" Garrus shouted.

 

"What?!" She snapped glaring down the road. 

 

"You zoned out." She could hear the relief in his voice. "We need you here Shepard."

 

She gripped the steering wheel. "Sorry."

 

"Are you…?"

 

"Don't ask." She could see the relay from where they were. 

 

He shot a look back to Wrex. "Er..."

 

"Just hold on." She pushed the mako well past the speeds it was designed to reach as the other two braced themselves. 

 

Citadel April 28, 2183

 

She'd known seeing the citadel in flames would hurt but still…

 

She'd expected a kick to the gut but this felt like earth all over again. This hunk of space metal had been her home. She'd been safe here once… And now it was full of death. 

 

She wanted to throw up. But what would that solve. 

 

Avina flickered, repeating bits of her programing as they crawled out of the mako. She forced her breathing even as she took aim at the husks. She'd wonder about how many of them she'd known later. She'd worry about their families later. She'd grieve her home later. 

 

She'd deal with it all later... If she had time. 

 

She grit her teeth as they entered the elevator up, pointedly not looking at Garrus. Not that she had to look to know he'd say something. He always cleared his throat when broaching and uncomfortable topic.

 

He cleared his throat. 

 

"No." She cut him off before he could start.

 

"Sorry?" 

 

"You know what I'm talking about." She didn't look at him opting to reload and check over her weapons. Saren wasn't about to let them waltz right into the council chambers.

 

"Is…"

 

"I'll deal with it later." 

 

He let out an exasperated sigh. "You always say that." 

 

She could see Wrex watching them in the reflection of the elevator windows. Behind it husks clawing their way up to the top like a swarm of ants. It never got easier watching them.

 

Then the elevator blew.

 

She'd expected this. She'd expected this. She'd expected this.  _ She'd expected this. She'd expected this. She'd expected this. She'd expected this... _

 

She rammed the but of her gun against the window and again. And again.  _ And again… _

 

_ She stood outside the Galactic Turnpike waiting for Garrus. She'd known he'd be late. He'd been dealing with a politician when she passed through. Politicians always took too long to deal with.  _

 

_ Something rammed into the bars window beside her; The spider web of glass and red blood.  _

 

She punched through the glass of the window pulling enough of it down for them to crawl through. She was the first to vault the railing. The low hum of the electromagnets in her boots starting up as the Citadels gravity stopped working.

 

The elevator up the Citadel tower had always been a long one. They'd only gotten about half way up. No one worth anything used it. Anyone who could took a taxi. Walking up it, even if it was only a quarter of the way was a pain in the ass. Each step forward was a fight she didn't want.  

 

_ He'd been covered in blood when she landed. Blue blood dripping from his jaw as he grumbled with his partner about it. She'd frozen in spot waiting for gunfire, waiting for him to fall. Waiting for the bird to rise from below and finish the job.  _

 

_ Then they were both in the med bay. Garrus clear of blood and gripping her shoulders. Her name on his tongue. How long had it been? _

 

There weren't many geth in the council chamber. Better than that, there was actual gravity in it when they managed to pry the doors open. Wrex used momentum for too much to ever be comfortable in zero-g.

 

Saren was worse than she remembered. He was long past subtle twitching of late stage indoctrination. His body shook with every word out of his mouth. 

 

“You know it's Sovereign speaking through you. Right?” She kept her gun low. “Your people won't live if you play nice. You know that. You saw what the artifact on Shanix did.” 

 

His eyes locked on to her. “Shanix. It wasn't…” He shook his head his body convulsing as he tried to shake off Sovereign's indoctrination. “No… Yes? Harper said…”

 

“Harper?” She frowned.

 

“Jack…” Saren shuddered lifting his pistol. "There has to be a cure for it."

 

“It's permanent Saren. It's like a slower version of the dragon teeth.” She admitted. 

 

"What do you know, Shepard?" Saren hissed. “Why did you send me that message on Virmire? What do you want?!” He yelled.

 

She frowned. “I want you to make a choice Saren.”

 

The pistol shook. “What choice.” He grit out. She didn't need to answer. He knew what she meant. He knew what choice she meant. He could end this himself or she could do it for him. He dropped the gun stepping backwards.

 

“We're spectres. It was your mission from the start."

 

"Whatever it takes.” He whispered eyeing the pistol.

 

“Whatever the cost."

 

He looked up to meet her gaze. “It's your mission now." He lifted the gun. “No. It was always your mission." He fired, the bullet ripping through his skull as he fell back through the glass floor behind him.

 

She jumped down after him leaving Garrus and Wrex to upload the prothean program. As she waited for sovereign to take control. 

 

Wrex dropped down beside her. “He's dead, Shepard.” He nudged Saren's corpse with his foot. 

 

She shook her head. “He's dead, but there's enough reaper tech in him to make him a husk.” She watched the body twitch as Garrus joined them. It convulsed again bleeding from every orifice. She fired half a clip into his body as sovereign took control. Clumps of flesh falling off as the reaper scuttled up the wall. 

 

“Sovereign."  She greeted as Saren's jaw fell to the floor.

 

“That's… really gross.” Garrus grumbled taking aim. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A WARNING
> 
> I do want to make it clear ahead of time that the last part of the chapter is more horror themed than the rest of this fic. This plays into the over arching theme of the next part. I am aware it comes out of left field when chapter wise Shepard is only just beginning to show some of her trauma. The second part of this series in addition to Shepard's relationship with Garrus touches on her paranoia and fears more than this part has.

Citadel  April 30, 2183

 

There was irony in the council asking her opinion. After months of getting in her way, of criticizing every action they were asking  _ her. _ After years of her being a general pain in the ass for the embassies. There was no way they hadn't heard about how she grew up on the citadel.

 

She shared a look with Anderson as they rambled on. Udina was the only one that seemed enraptured by their droning. Udina was the only one who stood to gain anything from it. 

 

When he turned to her, Shepard nearly burst out laughing at Udina’s expectant stare. Instead she let out an amused huff and an apologetic look to Anderson. She knew what he wanted and she wasn't about to give it to Udina. “It terms of trust and actual effectivity… Anderson's the obvious choice.”

 

Udina scowled. “Captain Anderson has no…”

 

“No offense but if the council was asking for a selfagrandizing politician, with little interest in putting anyones best interests before his own I'd have recommended you.” She snapped. “Anderson, I trust to put the people before the politics. Humanity needs a voice that isn't too full of itself to accomplish that.”

 

The turian councillor coughed failing to hide a laugh. Anderson's lips twitched up but otherwise he kept his composure. 

 

Udina didn't bother hiding his scowl. “I hope you know what you're doing, Shepard.” He grumbled. 

 

“And I hope you grow a pair of eyes to see what a hinderance you were to stopping Saren.” She replied pushing past him. "In the week you grounded us the Citadel could have been on fire. I'm not taking that risk again." He wasn't the only one at fault. The council had also stood in her way. But she had no power offer them.

 

"Now if I can be excused." She gave a half-hearted wave to the council and Udina, and a nod to her former captain. "I have work to do." 

 

Her ground team had mostly dispersed after the fighting, either helping sort through the wreckage or resting. Garrus and Kaidan had chosen to stick around though. She'd have appreciated the show of support more if she didn't know they'd followed to watch her tell off the council. 

 

“Commander Shepaard back from telling the politician's how it is.” Garrus grinned.

 

“You know Udina looked like he was going to have an aneurysm.” Kaidan added. 

 

"I'm not sure why he didn't see this coming." Garrus snorted punching her lightly in the arm. "Think the Turnpike is open right now?"

 

Kaidan made a confused face. "The what?"

 

She rolled her eyes. "When has the Turnpike ever closed? It's as stubborn as its owner. Has to be to put up with our shit."

 

The rundown bar had managed to avoid the worst of the fighting. Most of the lower wards had. 

 

Their usual table was shoved in the back corner. Too far from the bar and the dancefloor to attract attention. The only thing it had going for it was the quiet.

 

"We never did talk about what happened in the presidium…" She didn't look up from her drink, holding the glass too tight. "You didn't talk to Chakwas either. I checked."

 

She flinched as he settled beside her. "I'm not talking about this, Garrus." 

 

"Shepard." He pulled the glass from her fingers. "Whatever it is, you aren't dealing with it." She frowned. "I don't know how long…"

 

"I'm not..."

 

"Shepard this isn't the first time you've lost it." He snapped. "Talk to me."

 

"I can't." She didn't need to look to know he was upset. "I want to." She clenched her hands. "I want to. But… Most of it is classified. A lot of it just doesn't make sense. And the rest… I just don't know how to say it." She leaned against him. "It's enough for now, that the world has stopped burning. That you're here. But I know there's more to come."

 

He ran a hand over her hair. "When the fighting is over." She whispered. "When it's over. I'm going to go somewhere warm and quiet, away from the cities and the people."  _ If I live through it. _

 

???? ???? ??, ????

 

She knew what was below the surface before she stepped into the water, but she couldn't stop herself.  _ She was there. Waiting. Calling. Drowning. _

 

She couldn't remember a time she wasn't on this shore with the rain hitting like ice into her skin. With her hair soaked and whipping into her eyes. With the cold eating into her bones. The waves beneath her feet were just as cold. 

 

Or were they colder?

 

She walked deeper, the waves lapping at her waist. There was a drop off after this. 

 

She couldn't swim. But even if she could have, it wouldn't have helped.  _ She _ demanded that she drowned.

 

And she would.  

 

She sank further into the depths, the salt water stinging her throat. The abyss beneath her welcoming her. 

 

She watched what little light lingered on the surface fade as hands gripped her ankles. As  _ she  _ pulled her under. 

 

It wouldn't be long until it claimed her. She could count the seconds left. There was no fighting against the inevitable.

 

     5…

           4…

                 3…

                       2….

                             1….

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support and congratulations on making it to the end of part one!
> 
> I will be going back to my working files to reread the entirety of Requiem For The Returned with the purpose of editing and making the fic as a whole a little more cohesive. some parts are a little more murky than I'd like and others have too much focus when the actual content is irrelevant to the plot, character development, and general entertainment. In all likely hood I will probably do this as I am writing the second part of this fic Ballad For Battleships. I'll let you all know in the notes when that editing is complete and the A03 version is updated. 
> 
> So I leave you all with the knowledge that the preview for the next part is already up!
> 
> [edit 8/31/2019]  
> Because I have it on hand I do actually have a playlist for this fic. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5auHCgUW9mxSI2ip2jNg1u?si=YcF7VYhtRDWugTUc8siJeQ


End file.
